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You've seen the photo in The Hall of Douchebags. Red-faced and rocking, this corpulent crooner has become an enigmatic legend on the RRC Forums. Most are unable to attribute a gender to the person pictured much less an identity or location. Man or woman, we are fascinated with the person known only as "Cheesefries" (named after the caption.) Who is Cheesefries?

Several years ago, we were successful in our quest to locate "The Mohawk Guy". Could lightning strike again? We're hoping it will.

Here's what we know, which, admittedly, isn't much:

The photo was submitted by an RRC reader in Texas. Judging from the stark lighting and spartan decor, Cheesefries appears to be singing in a gymnasium or "all-purpose room", perhaps at a talent show? In the background of the photo, there is a flag of some sort. Is it a drill team flag? A school crest or team mascot banner?

Also, judging from Cheesefries' use of a cymbal stand as a makeshift microphone stand, the drummer's F-Grade kit and the compact PA, they are clearly not professionals.

Sadly, RRC HQ is not equipped with CSI-like computers, else we would simply zoom in on Cheesefries' eye, tighten, sharpen, zoom some more, sharpen and zoom some more, then extrapolate the data until we had a clear picture of the gymnasium reflected in Cheesefries' retina, complete with scoreboard, time of day and name of the school. (This image would be backwards, of course, but we'd have the number-crunching power of the bleeding-edge CSI supercomputer and a special high-tech image-flipping algorithm software which could flip the backwards image so it was readable to the naked eye.) No, all we have here is a couple of Casio ComputeMaster 500s and a chalkboard.

So, it's up to you, fair reader, to help us find Cheesefries. Your identity will be kept confidential unless you tell us otherwise.

Go to our contact page and give us any clue you may have so that we may put a name and gender to that red, round face. We're counting on you!

Click here to contact us with clues!

 

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