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- LOCAL BAND HAIKUS -

Forty people showed,
but we didn't make money.
They were on the list.

Understand my art.
Jobs are for worker-bee drones.
That's not me, baby.


Screw what people think!
Putting on this eyeliner
makes me look intense!


This sound guy sucks ass.
He needs to crank my vocals.
Then, we'll sound kick-ass.


For a guy like me,
college was too constraining.
Where is my bus pass?


Thanks, and don't forget
to tip your cocktail waitress.
She works hard for you!


We don't need to move.
We'll totally get signed here
in Putney, Vermont.


Which do you think, babe?
The silver pants or the red?
Choosing clothes is tough.


I love you so much
your name will be on the disc.
Thank you for the loan.


Guess who's coming here!
The guy who signed Glass Tiger!
I hope he digs us!


Kinkos fired me.
They wouldn't give me time off
to go on the tour.


Dude, that solo rocked!
It totally makes the song!
Dude! Totally, dude!


Get off my back, man!
You now that I'm artistic!
Weed helps me create!

We need new pictures.
My girlfriend took a class once.
She'll do it for free.


After the bar tab,
we each made fifteen dollars
Rock and fucking roll!


Open for Pimpshack?
Those guys should open for us!
We sound way better!


I agree with you.
But we can't kick Rodney out.
He owns the P.A.


People are asking
where they can buy our new disc.
We need to burn more.


Did you see that chick?
She asked when our next gig was.
She's totally bi!


I can see it now:
Universal will sign us
or maybe Dreamworks.


Fuck South by Southwest!
They'll wish they invited us
after we get signed!


Alls I'm saying is
if we all wore suits and ties
we would look like fags.


The guy from the bar
asked if we had a big draw.
I told him Hell, Yes.


Ok, guys, on three:
SnakeCage. One, Two, Three, SnakeCage!
Now let's rock the house!


We're supposed to play
a benefit against rape.
Boy, that's ironic.


After we get signed
I'll do a couple albums
then I'll go solo.

 

 
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